


Bruised Heart (LevYaku • YakuLev)

by mylh_iiixi



Series: YakuLev AUs [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Past Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylh_iiixi/pseuds/mylh_iiixi
Summary: Am I not enough?.
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, YakuLev
Series: YakuLev AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829845
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ᴏʏᴀ﹗ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛᴡᴏ ﹐ᴏʏᴀ﹗ᴏʏᴀ﹗
> 
> ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴩᴜʀᴇ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅɴᴇss.
> 
> ᴀʟʟ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ sʜɪғᴛɪɴɢ ᴩᴏᴠs ғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛs.
> 
> ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏʀᴄɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ. 
> 
> ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ʀɪsᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ.
> 
> ᴛʜɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs. ɪ ʀᴇᴩᴇᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ. 
> 
> ʏᴀᴏɪ ғʟᴜғғ ᴀɴᴅ sᴍᴜᴛ ɪs ʟɪғᴇ sᴏ ᴡʜʏ ɴᴏᴛ.
> 
> ᴀs ɪ'ᴠᴇ sᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅɴᴇss.
> 
> ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀsᴛʟʏ,
> 
> ʏᴀᴋᴜʟᴇᴠ ɪs ᴏᴜʀ sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ ɪғ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ. 
> 
> ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴇ, ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ﹗ ⋅⋅⋅

Mori's POV

Finished another day at my part-time work, arrange my things, hooked my bag on my shoulder and clean my table before walking out of the office. Walked pass on our building's cafe and smelled the aroma of brewed coffee that made my tiredness slightly drift away. As I walk out of the premises, the cold breeze of the upcoming winter season greets my whole body. Thankfully I wear a scarf because it was expected to be cold starting today onwards. 

I can't remember since when I became so addicted to Haiba Lev. 

I chuckled then starts to walk the way home. 

My phone suddenly vibrated and I excitedly open it and saw his reply on my message this afternoon, reads it and can't help myself giggled and blushed. I was about to reply to his message when I received another one, and it's from Tora, I frowned and opened the message. 

Fr: ToraKora 

"Yaku-san is my sister with Lev?" 

I felt my heart beats faster and got nervous all of a sudden. 

Akane, 3 years younger than Tora, have a huge liking to Lev, I even saw how she sticks with Lev all the time when we had a practice camp on the village near their house, it doesn't bother me that time cause we're not together yet, and even heard her said to Tora that she already fall in love with Lev and she will do anything to have him, I just shrugged it off since she was still young and I'm not that sure of my feelings that time for Lev and I really didn't have the chance to know Lev's feelings for Akane too. 

But now, it's different, I felt a sudden pang on my chest and getting jealous without any basis!, cause Tora seldom messaged me, unless it's important or urgent and I'm having a bad feeling right now. I tried calling his number but he's not answering, I'm hoping, deep inside my heart, that he and she are not together right now. 

I walk fast and run at the same time and finally reached the park near our apartment, I bend down and holds my knees and pants hard, then when I lift up my face I saw his familiar back, almost getting relieved and was about to call him, but I saw he's not alone, there are arms wrapping on his back, then he suddenly moves backwards and I finally saw who's arms that are. 

I gripped my chest, the sight that I'm witnessing right now, is too much for my eyes and heart to handle. A tear escaped my eyes and I instantly wiped it and turn my back, then run away.... away from the sight that breaks me into countless pieces. 

Akane.... kissing him.... 

and the most painful part of it is .... 

"Lev ..... W-why?..... why are you k-kissing b-back? ......." 

Lev's POV

Pulled away from the kiss and stares at Akane's eyes for a bit, feeling dazed from the action and immediately pulls myself away from her, face flustered red and looks away shyly.

"T-Thanks for today... I enjoyed it... "

Akane: "No problem! All for you. "

Rubs my nape, still looking away from Akane with a guilty face plastered on my face and looks back at her, seeing her hopeful expression made me feel more guilty. I was about to say something to her until I found a familiar silhouette of Mori, making my heart go fast and ache.

"M-Mori! Wait!"

Starts to move my feet at a rapid pace, chasing him with Akane left behind standing in the park and continues to call out to him.

"Morisuke! Please hear me out! Stop!"

When my feet finally catches up to him, I grabbed his wrist tight and made him halt from where he was running into, not looking at me in the eye.

"M-Mori... That was a misunderstanding... I- She- I didn't mean it-"

Mori's POV

Pants hard from running but still not facing him, hearing what he just said makes it more painful and harder for me, cause he can't even talk straight and I can feel the guilt on his voice, gripped my chest again and tried to calm down even just a bit. Gathered up my courage to talk and make it emotionless and cold. Felt his hands gripping my wrist tight.

"Let go."

He didn't listen and gripped it harder, I forcefully pulled my hands away from him and felt him flinched because of my sudden strength to get off my hands from him.

"I said let go!."

I shouted but still emotionless, tried to walk, away from him, but he hugged me from behind and gripped my body tight so that I can't move and be still, hearing the sky cries the sound of thunder and the breeze gets colder.

Lev's POV

Still hugs him from behind despite the anger in his voice, gripping him tight into me and lets out a shaky sigh. Leans down to his ear and closes my eyes as I spoke.

"Hear me out, will you...?"

Snuggles into the crook of his neck, covering my face and prevents it from letting out tears. Lets go of him to make him face me with an emotionless expression that made my heart pang of pain. Rests my hands into his shoulder as I turned him around to me and falls my hands down from his arms to his cold hands, rubbing them with my thumb.

"H-Hey... Can you listen to me?..."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~


	2. Chapter 2

Mori's POV

Looks at him blankly, hides all the pain deep inside me and face him with no emotion. Feeling my whole body getting numb because of the cold breeze and the unexplainable pain that I'm enduring. Can't even feel my hands anymore so I just let you hold it.

"Do I have to? I'm not blind. My eyes won't lie to me. "

Keeps on staring at him emotionless, eye to eye. Keeping my feet stand still and not break down from this torture feeling. Saw his face making different kinds of expressions, ..... scared, begging, panicking but the one I don't want to see is reflecting on it too, ........guilt. My heart is crying, it won't last any longer, but still, I manage to keep it in.

"You don't need to explain. just say it and I'll leave your life."

Lev's POV

Grips your hand tight before letting it go, my arms flailing down to the side. Looks at him with my face having mixed up emotions -- panic, sadness, fear, guilt, anger (because of myself) -- and sighs, the scarf he gave me hangs on my neck as the cold wind blows on us.

"You probably don't want to hear my voice after what happened today but I want to explain, even if you're already mad at me."

Looks down at my shoes and grips the side of my jacket as I relax myself from trembling too much.

"You know... The reason why I kissed Akane because she told me that was supposed to be her belated birthday gift for me, although I thought she prepared a gift for me but she said she forgot about it and came running to me. She wants to give me a walk to the park and talks about things like volleyball strategies and tricks. I got my mind stuck to it that I almost forgot we were the only ones wandering in the park and I also didn't notice she slipped her hands into mine."

Grabs his hand gently, holding his pinky finger and looks at his hand, the pain in my face still not disappearing.

"I felt myself get scared that she might not talk to me again if I won't accept her gift for me because she's my friend. I didn't know it was a kiss she was gonna give me but somehow, I just went with the flow and kissed her back. When I saw her being happy again, I also got happy about it cause I knew she's gonna be my friend forever. I was gonna talk some senses to her until I saw you running away..."

Lets go of his finger and manage to get myself smile at you despite the tear that's streaming down my cheeks.

"If you're really angry at me, I'm okay with it. You should hurt me. I deserved it anyway hahaha..."

Mori's POV

Tears start to fall from my eyes while I still stare at you blankly, I don't want any emotion to reflect on my face but my eyes can't take it anymore so I let my tears speak what I'm feeling right now. I didn't move, and let myself be torn.

"Let me ask you, what if what you said happened to me too, and I'll say that I just go with the flow and kissed back ..... cause it's a friend I don't want to lose, are you fine with it? so it's fine to kiss anyone besides me huh, hahaha....I get it..... Sorry hahaha... My bad.....I thought I'm the only one and you're mine alone, I guess I took this relationship so serious and deep, too deep that I even forgot that I'll get drowned by all by myself, I get it now, sorry for thinking that way...."

Wiped my tears and smiled at him.

"Stop crying, you just did what you think can make you happy, don't mind me, I know now what I really am in your life, smile Lev....."

Cups his cheeks with trembling hands now, cause the pain is just too much for me to bear but still manage to smile at him. pulled away my hands, then starts to walk pass through him.

Lev's Pov

Got left with my eyes flowing with tears and looks behind me, staring at his silhouette.  
Wipes my tears away with the back of my hand and immediately runs towards him.  
Grabs his wrist and pulls him back, taking hold of his hands and clenches his fingers into a fist and wraps my palm on his cold knuckles.

"Didn't I said you should hurt me? Geez, stop being so emotional Yaku-san. You're making me sick of it. "

Grabs his clenched hands and force them to punch me in the chest, looking at him seriously with my eyes red from crying but no more tears streamed down.

"C'mon... If you managed to make a smile, that means you're still strong, right? So punch me. Punch me with all of your anger. Hurt me until your body can't take it anymore."

Still grips on his wrist tight and holds still, staring down at his with a cold expression.

Mori's POV

Snatched my hands back, matching up your cold expression and stares at him much colder. Grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down harshly and levelled his face to mine.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but I won't and never kiss anyone but you!. I'll never do what you just did just to have a friend to stay with me forever, let me remind you that you have a boyfriend, and that boyfriend of yours have feelings. You should've thought of what I will feel on you kissing someone else, unless I didn't even come into your mind while your kissing her. oh yeah I forgot you enjoyed that, that kiss ha-ha-ha...."

Starts to shake and trembled and burst out crying while gripping the shirt on your chest and buried my face on it and cry my heart out.

"I hate you..... I fucking hate you Lev....."

Pushed him away and run my way home while crying.

Lev's POV

Stood still and sighs deeply, looking down at the floor with empty eyes and feels my shoulder being touched by something wet, realizing rain has started to pour down.  
Looks up the dark sky and lets my face get poured down by the heavy rain and just stands still, closing my eyes as I feel the cold breeze and the droplets dripping down.

"You've done it, Lev... You've really done it..."

Sighs again and takes my sight away from the sky, looking directly at our house.  
Walks towards the direction and stops at the doorway, holding the doorknob with my trembling hand. Tries to twitch it open but couldn't, probably locked from inside and realized I lost my spare key.

"Ah, fuck it. It's not like he wants me inside the house anyways."

Sits on the stairs and rests my chin and my arms on my knees, wrapping myself and buries my face between my knee, not expecting for anything and lets myself drowse to sleep with my clothes being very damp and dripping wet.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters for today.
> 
> ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱


	3. Chapter 3

Mori's POV

I walk in the house and wipes my tears and leaned back on the door then flops on the floor.  
I'm panting hard from running and crying, forgetting that I have Asthma, and it's making me breathe hard right now. Hearing the door flicked from outside, guessing it was him, but it didn't open cause it was locked when I entered. The heavy rain and thunder start to pour down loudly outside. Gripping my chest and tried to breathe normally but failing.

"Why n-now.."

I forcefully moved my body to go upstairs and pack some clothes and go to Tetsu's house and message him that my asthma is attacking again, panting heavily in the process. I place my bag on the floor beside the shoe rack and went outside knowing that he's there and saw him sleeping and dripping wet.

I act like I don't have difficulty breathing, but body trembling from holding it in, I hold his shoulder and shake it to wake him up, he slowly opened his eyes.

"Go inside, you'll catch a cold, take a bath and rest."

I pulled his wrist and helped him go inside even though I'm having problem breathing. Heavy breathing, heart aching and body numbing.

"Take care of y-yourself..."

I look in his eyes coldly, then turn my back and gripped my chest tightly. I Hooked my backpack and ready to walk out but he stops me by holding my wrist again.

"Fuck, not now."

I whispered to myself and enduring the pain for it not be seen by him. But the trembling of my body can't be controlled anymore, it reached its limit already.

Lev's POV

I hold his wrist tight and looks at him with my eyes widen.

"Your asthma is acting up, isn't it?."

Clicks my tongue and pulls him inside forcefully, making him sit on the couch and walks towards the kitchen, rummages through the room and tries to find something that might soothe his breathing.  
Hearing his wheezes from the kitchen made me tilts my head to take a look at him, he's now leaning his head on the couch and furrows my eyebrows, continuing on searching for the item. Finally found the inhaler and grabs it with me, running to the living room from where he's at.

"Hold still. You're struggling too much."

Lifting his chin up and places the inhaler to his mouth, gently pressing the inhaler.

"It's no need to go outside when you already have an item to soothe your asthma. What are you, 5?"

Mori's POV

Frowns at him and getting pissed and annoyed on what he just said. I pushed his hand that's gripping on my shoulder and glares at him furiously.

"Don't touch me! and I don't want to hear that from you! as if you care! , let me suffer alone!. You don't need me in your life! so why bother helping! , I already know I can't have you just for myself. I told you didn't I, I live because of you, and now there's no reason for me to continue living. Once again I'm left alone and Yes!, I am always that fucking choice that never the one that's chosen. Just be with Akane!, forget about me existing in your life! just fuck off, Lev!."

I hissed and snapped to his face as I removed the inhaler and forcefully stands up and hurried my way to the door while panting heavily.

Lev's POV

Looks at him with an expressionless look and stands up from where I kneeled down.

"If you need me in your life, why choose Kuroo over me? Because I hurt you? Did you really think I liked Akane that way? Don't expect me to come running to her and do her things I did to you."

Walks over the couch and lifts my legs up and wraps them close to me, resting my chin on my knees and wraps my arms around, not looking at him.

"If you wanna go and live with Kuroo-san, that's okay. Just live your own life. Just like you said, I'll spend my days here forgetting about you."

Mori's POV

Still panting hard.

"I'm not choosing anyone! and Tetsuro is out of this! he's with Kenma! snapped out of it! don't make me look like you! kissing a friend!. And you even know she loves you! and you fucking kiss her back!"

I shouted again, and it made my breathing lost control, that caused me to fall on the floor then gasped for air, tears streaming and breathing harder. Heard someone entered the door that I forgot to close a while ago. Tetsuro walks in, saw me gasping for air and immediately held my shoulder then inserted the medicine that he has on my mouth.

"Lev! what are you doing! what's happening to Yaku! bring some water! quick! he can't faint! Or he'll not gonna wake up anymore!!! NOW MOOOOVEEE!!!" 

Kuroo panicked and shouted at his kouhai that's having mix expression.

Lev's POV

Looking at both of them with guilt and runs to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and puts some water into it. Runs back immediately to him with the glass barely spilled and brings it down to his mouth, drinking the water down desperately. Whispers two words as I look at him with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry."

Feeling my eyes getting watery and sniffles, bringing my palm up to wipe my nose and takes the glass back, standing up.

"I'll just be upstairs. If you want Yaku-san to get him home to yours, please do so. He needs rest."

I bowed to Kuroo as I spoke and lifts my head up, walking to the kitchen and puts the glass to the table and makes my way to the stairs.

Mori's POV

"Oi! Lev! take care of him, He's not going with me, he'll freeze to death outside. Carry him to your room, I just dropped by for his medicine cause he asked for it and also to tell him that he can't come to my house now cause my family is there now. And Kenma's been staying there too."

My eyes are closed but can still hear both of you talking, my breathing still not normal, and I slowly being drift away and nears at fainting.

"Lev he needs you, what happened really? are you nuts? you're leaving him just like this?."

I suddenly felt my body being carried and passed on.

"It's not my business to pry on but you already know that Yaku has no one to run to. He only has you, and welcome no need to thank me I'm leaving sayonara!."

Hearing the door shuts and felt your strong arms carrying me. But I'm still gasping for air, as I felt the soft fabric of the bed and he put something on my mouth, the nebulizer, then I breathe it in aggressively, feeling so weak from loss of air.  
Tears start to fall again and I just let it, but it's making me hard to breathe but didn't care at all, didn't care what will happen to me, there's no reason for me to live anyway. So I was consumed by nearly fainting but suddenly felt his warm hand caressing my chest gently to help me ease the pain of breathing.

Lev's POV

Caresses his chest to make him feel better as I let him lean on my own chest, still holding the nebulizer into his mouth and stays still. Feeling him ease his shoulders and continues to caress his chest gently, listening to the sound of his now soft slow breathing. I sighed deeply and pulls the nebulizer away, putting it aside on the bed.

"Are you feeling okay now? You should get rest. You're feeling too much today so I'll just leave you here to let you ease some more. If you need the nebulizer, it's just beside the bed. You know how to use it, right?."

I get up from the bed and sits on the edge.

"I'll be downstairs and give you some space."

Mori's POV

I grip the hem of your shirt and looks at you pleading in so weak manner.

"D-don't leave m-me..."

I saw his expressionless eyes that make me cry and feel the agony again. I slowly loosen my grip, feeling hopeless, alone and broken.

"C-can I j-just d-die n-now...ha-ha-ha-..."

I felt my heart being torn and beating so weak.  
Shutting my eyes and making myself doze off to sleep and wish for this heartbreak to disappear with not waking up ever again.

"I-I l-lo-ve y-ou Lev..."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As/N
> 
> Hey! Hey! Hey! Azuupp!   
> ୧(＾ 〰 ＾)୨
> 
> are you all still up for this story? ＼(^o^)／
> 
> we hope it's a YEEEEESSSS!   
> (つ≧▽≦)つ (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated Kittens! we want to hear from you more.   
> (/^-^(^-^*)/
> 
> YakuLev love intensifies!!!  
> (◍•ᴗ•◍)(◍•ᴗ•◍) —☆


	4. Chapter 4

Lev's POV

Looks at him with my eyes widen, heart filled with hope and immediately wraps my arms around him, burying my face into the crook of his neck. Groans softly and grips the back of his shirt tighter.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

Buries my face more into him and pulls away from the hug to bring my hands to his cheek, taking a look at his face. Tears started streaming down my face again and hug him tightly again, not wanting to let go.

"I-I'm very sorry, Mori... I won't do it again... I won't leave you and I won't let you leave me."

Sobs through his neck and shuts my eyes for me tears not to flow more.

"I made a mistake. A horrible mistake. I want you to forgive me."

Mori's POV

Warm soft breathing on my neck awakens me from my cold slumber. Arms and legs wrapped around my whole body tightly, telling me not to go anywhere. My body feels so weak and heavy, throat so sore and eyes were swollen from crying. Tilts my head slowly to face him and saw traces of still fresh and also dry tears on his eyes down from his cheeks.  
I didn't expect to be alive from almost fainting last night, the medicine I took must have prevented it to happen. My breathing is back to normal but my body is suffering from its side effect, numb and still cold. I tried to reach his cheek and rubs it gently. Scenes from yesterdays memory hunt me again, the tears are coming out from my eyes involuntarily, the pain is still lingering on my chest, straight to my heart. I tried to calm down and close my eyes again, thinking of our happy memories together but failing. Thinking of what did I do, where did I go wrong, did I not make him happy, am I lacking on many ways being his boyfriend, and am I the only one who wants him to be mine, only mine.

"W-why d-do have to k-kiss someone e-else... Am I-I n-not e-enough?..."

I softly whisper, almost no voice coming because of the soreness of my throat. I felt him move and hugs me tighter. Sudden tears flowing in his eyes but he's still sleeping.

"Mori.. I'm sorry.."

He sleeps talked, my heart aches from seeing him crying for me, begging me to forgive him. I wipe his tears and place a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I l-love y-you Lev... I-m s-sorry t-oo..."

Lev's POV

Feeling his warm lips kissing my forehead making me opens my eyes and the first thing I saw is his warm neck and the first thing I felt is his lips, making me let out a shaky sigh. Wonders why my voice got hoarse and why my cheeks were wet but shrug it off away. I hug him tighter, not wanting to let go of him even if my mind tells me he can't forgive me anymore. I didn't know you were awake all the time and closes my eyes, gripping on the back of your shirt.

"...Good morning, Morisuke. You probably don't want to hear your name being called out like this by me so I'll just say this when you sleep. Just like now."

Wraps my arms around him even more tightly and snuggles into the crook of his neck. I felt him flinch from my tightened grip but didn't mind it since I thought that he's asleep and continues to close my eyes as I spoke silently.

"Hey Mori, I had a bad dream. A very bad one. I can't tell if it's a dream or a nightmare because you were in it. It's about a fight between couples. The other partner witnessed that his boyfriend was kissing a girl then he got mad at him and ran away, heading off to somewhere away from that nasty person that was probably cheating on him."

I felt my eyes getting heavy and shuts my eyes, even more, to prevent it from watering

"The "cheater" tried to give his beloved lover a reason about why he did it but the other partner already got hurt, had a breakdown, replying him with such hurtful yet reasonable things and got even more mad at the cheater."

Feeling my nose already dripping and sniffles it back, tears started streaming down my cheeks but still continued to talk.

"T-The cheat-ter didn't exactly w-wanted to cheat. He was o-only doing it to prevent a friendship between opposite genders to break but since his partner saw everything and spouted things and didn't believe this boyfriend, he gave up on him. Almost. He was only a burden to his beloved lover. All he could do was to cheat behind his back, at least that's what the pained man mentioned."

I manage to let out a chuckle and closes my eyes again, my grip slowly loosening on the back of his shirt.

"This is why I had the thought of breaking up because I'll only hurt you in the end... But you kept clinging onto me... Didn't want me to let you go. Well, I wanted to for the sake of you. I can't manage to say those 3 words that lovers always say to each other right now cause I feel you don't want me to. If I do so, you'll puke from it sooner, giving me disgusted looks and you'll probably be thinking about why you met such a disgraceful, disgusting behemoth like me."

Surprised that he's still aren't awake -- not making any noise or not a single sound of his voice was to be heard -- and that I actually pulled to say those off without sobbing and lets go of his shirt, retreating my hand from it.

"You'll probably give me your signature disgusted look if you'd find out that I'm clinging to you while you were asleep so I'll just sleep at the other side of the bed."

Slowly backs away and lifts my face up, attempting to steal a kiss from him but my eyes got wide open when I saw you speechless and eyes watering, making the side of your eyes even puffier and red.

"H-How much have you heard...?"

Mori's POV

"Y-you're l-eaving m-me? Am I n-not e-nough? I g-guess I c-can't no l-longer ho-ld o-on those w-words t-that y-you s-said to m-me the first t-time we m-met w-when you s-saved my life..."

With a hoarse soft voice, I cried and slowly opened my eyes with tears falling on it. I gripped the shirt on your chest and silently sob and tried to speak clearly for him to understand my last words before he leaves.

"You didn't recognize me, but I recognized you immediately when I saw you again and my heart starts to beat for you since then. I waited for that day and I'm so thankful that finally, finally, I can see you again. I will never forget those eyes that looked at me with so much concern that time. But I didn't expect you to love me back and to feel that I still really have a reason to live and it is because of you."

I buried my face on his chest and felt him pushing me away gently, I bite my lips to hold back my tears and continued talking even though he already decided to let me go.

"I was beaten up by some strangers at the street and had so many bruises, mostly on my face and neck, you won't really recognize it was me because of it, it was when my family past away, I was vulnerable and didn't care what will happen to me cause I'm better off dead, cause I don't have reason to live anymore. I was delirious and talking about how my life is falling apart. When no one is there and no one will care. Then I felt your gentle arms that held me tight and carried me like delicate glass, so careful for me not to break, then I heard you clearly saying those words to me."

........"I don't know you but I'm sure you'll need to live and have a life you have to treasure and someone who'll love and care for you. So you have to keep living for that time to come."..........

"With your worried and gentle voice, you calmed me and finally release all my kept feelings and burst out crying, I didn't know that I voiced out the words,

......Am I not enough to have a life that I want and to have someone I will care and love?....

I fainted that time, so I didn't have the chance to know your name and to see your face clearly, when I woke up I'm at the hospital, alone, you're not there anymore, but I saw a lavender flower on the desk with a note in it,

"тебе хватит"

I didn't know what it meant, but when I had the chance to search for it, I felt alive again. Because for the first time of my life someone finally told me.

"тебе хватит (You are enough)"

I need to live, I need to see you again, I need to show you I did what you told me..."

I slowly release my grip on his chest and looks at him with eyes full of pain, regret and love. I touch his face for the last time and saw his eyes confused and a little bit of recognition is slowly reflecting on it. I smiled at him with all my heart.

"Thank you for saving me, I didn't have the chance to say it to you back then. I live and had experienced the life you told me to have."

I kept on smiling even if my tears won't stop from falling.

"But, I'm sorry, I can't do it again now. Cause I don't have reason to keep going anymore."

I let go of him and embrace myself to stop my body from trembling.

"Please don't stop me from loving you, I don't want this feeling to disappear, can I just keep it, please. I won't bother you, I'll just love you from afar. My love for you is all I have now, so please let me continue loving you. Please Lev, I really love you so much..."

I covered my face and silently sob and let my feeling to overflow for this one last time.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As / N
> 
> Next chapter will be the last.  
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
> 
> We angsty at some times so yeah we share.  
> (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧(◠‿◕)
> 
> kudos and comments are very much appreciated!  
> ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧


	5. Chapter 5

Lev's POV

I was speechless and looks at him with wide, pain-struck eyes and kept on freezing from where I sat. I rested my hands on the bed and grips the sheets tight, looking down with regret and pain plastered on my face.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

Still looks down, gripping on the sheets tighter and groans to myself, preventing my tears to flow as I took my free hand up to my now weeping face.  
I lifted my head up with watering eyes and slowly scoots closer to him, resting a hand on his arm and caresses it a bit, being careful not to startle him.

"You're being the most pained here... I can't take seeing your face scrunched up from crying too much and sobbing too much because of some cheater, which is me... I don't know how to comfort you but if being beside you eases you, I'll stay. I'll stay until we get old and die. I'll spend my days being with you. Even if it means not eating for a week- screw that, for a whole month, I'll stay with you just to make it up to you."

Takes your hand away from covering your face and replaces my hand to cup his cheek, smiling weakly and apologetically. Scoots even more closer and sits straight, bringing my hand to his head to rest it on my shoulder.

"I hurt you yet you're the one who's apologizing. Begging to me. It's should be the opposite, you know..."

Slowly wraps my arms around his neck gently, burying my face into your neck and closes my eyes.

"I wanna make it up to you. I'll stay beside you forever if it means you'll keep on living a happy life. If you feel like I'm slipping away from your sight, just call out to me and I'll run to you immediately. If you caught me staring at other people, just hurt me so I can know my mistake. Just like you always said, I'm not mature enough to know my own mistakes that I even need criticisms from you and others. If you feel like not walking towards me, just bother me like you always do. If you want me to say sweet things to you, just command me and I'll whisper them to you for a billion times. I am not ready for losing you yet. If that day comes, it will be when I'm dead. Along with your grave."

Pulls away from the hug to grab his hands and intertwines them with mine tightly, clenching my pads into his knuckles.

"Please forgive me, Morisuke. I wanna spend my days with you. If I won't do it, then I'll die like the way you will, calling out each other's names without each other's embrace. I know I am stupid and ignorant and an idiot to not know a mistake but please forgive me. I still love you, Morisuke. Will you give me another chance? If you don't want me anymore and decide to discard me, it's so fine. Just promise to keep on loving me from afar and I'll do the same."

Mori's POV

I look at him and tried to stop my sob and tears, removes his hand on mine and wraps it around your nape, pulled him and claimed his lips, kissing him with full of affection, pours all of my love with sadness and sorrow. I felt him startled but still kissed me back gently, so gentle that I can feel all his emotions dwelling, regret, guilt but full of love and forgiveness. I pulled away because I felt his tears falling into my cheeks, wiping it with my thumbs and rest your forehead to mine.

"I love you, and I'm sorry for what I did and said to you. Jealousy consumed me and pain made my heart and mind numb and didn't think straight. but, please, can I have you back? can I have you all for myself? can I be selfish and want you to be only mine?."

I close the gap on our lips claiming it again with a kiss, to erase the memory that happened, replacing it with my lips and sealing it with just mine.

"Please tell me again that I'm enough for you."

I kiss your eyes that are now swollen and cheeks that are flushing red from crying too much.

"I want you to be mine again, only mine Lev, please..."

I buried my face on his neck and hugs him tightly, gripping the back of his shirt and pulling him closer to me.

"I love you..."

Lev's POV

I hug him tighter and pulls him closer to me, gripping the back of his shirt and rests my chin atop his head.

"Yeah. You can be selfish whenever you want as long as you're longing for me. I would definitely do the same. You're more than enough for me. You're only mine and I'm only yours."

I pulled my chin away from his head to take a look at him.

"I love you too, Morisuke... Morisuke..?"

My eyes widened in panic as soon as I saw his asthma attacking up again and immediately reaches for the floor, searching where I put the nebulizer.

"Nebulizer, nebulizer... Where are you goddamn it-..."

Notices the nebulizer at the edge of the bed and immediately scoots to the direction, grabbing the nebulizer and plugged it into the socket as I open the medicine and puts it into the container where the mask is in and gently puts the mask to his mouth. Letting him breathe all of it in and rubs his back to ease his difficulty in breathing.

"...Are you okay now..?"

Mori's POV

Pants heavily but trying to inhale and exhale slowly by the help of the nebulizer and felt calm and at ease on his hand that's rubbing my back.

"I-I'm okay... I'm sorry ..." 

I gripped his hand and looks at him with a weak smile 

"Thank you for always taking care of me."

Stares at your puffy eyes, flushing red cheeks, and a little bit swollen lips.

"Why do you still look so handsome even though you cried like a baby?."

I chuckled a little and saw his usual smile beaming again and stares at me lovingly, like telling me I'm the most precious treasure he has. I felt his hand touched my cheek and rubs his thumb, seeing him like this makes me fall for him again and again.

"I love you even though you're a HUGE cry baby .. hahaha..."

Lev's POV

I pulled my hand away and whines childly.

"Mori! So mean! I don't cry like a baby. But I'm flattered you called me handsome."

Runs my fingers to my nape and smiles brightly at you. My bright smile slowly falters into a warm smile. I grab his hands and grips them tight, caressing them softly as I look at him straight in the eyes.

"I'm glad things back to normal now. Fights can't be helped but let's do our best to avoid them. I'm sorry I acted coldly at you even though I knew you were hurt because of the scene I caused. I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Gently holds his shoulders as my other hand snaked to intertwine our fingers together. Looks at him with a very visible blush creeping on my cheeks.

"Hey, can I... Can I kiss you? Act like I am still your babe and act like nothing happened yesterday?."

Mori's POV

I chuckled and removes the mask of the nebulizer and pants slightly then greets him with a sweet teasing smile. I grab his hand that's intertwined on mine that causes him to fall on top of me and stares at his eyes then smirks.

"Never ask permission again to kiss me, and you don't need to act like one. Cause you'll always be my one and only babe."

Snakes my hands on his back and gripped his shirt tightly. Starting to blush from your stare.

"A-ahm are you gonna kiss me or you'll just stare at me?..."

Lev's POV

Blushes deeply and snaps back to reality, gripping on his hand that's still intertwined with mine.

"O-Oh right... My bad."

I slowly lean down to his face and puckers my lips a little, reaching for his lips with my eyes closed. When I reached his face and nose bumped each other, I opened my eyes and takes a look on his beautiful hazel brown eyes.

"I don't know what has gotten into me but I'll just peck. I'm still having that kind of feeling I felt earlier."

I peck on his lips and pulls away immediately, looking at him with my face intensely flushed.

"God, you almost made me-- never mind!! Aack!."

Pecks on his lips again before burying my face into his neck, still flushing hardly.

"Aarghhhh!! What has gotten into me again??."

He just laughs at me and it's music to my ears and making my heart beats wildly.

I never prayed for anything. But now for the first time, I pray, that this feeling we have will never falter and grow old being madly in love with each other, for Mori's my light, and Me, as his life.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As/ N
> 
> Thank you so much for waiting and reading until this last chapter!  
> ╰(*´︶'*)╯╰(*´︶'*)╯
> 
> We hope you love our semi angst and fluff!  
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> 
> It has many errors and stuffs but we did our bestto!  
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> 
> Our YakuLev babies deserve more Love! so we really thank you all for enjoying this short   
> Angsty AU!   
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> 
> We love you all guys!   
> ～(つˆДˆ)つ｡☆～(つˆДˆ)つ｡☆

**Author's Note:**

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> 
> posted on our wattpad account too.
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